I am a little late with my annual recap of favorite email questions that I receive each year. I usually post my annual blog with my favorite emails every January, but that month snuck past me quickly. I have a file folder on my computer where I keep emails that are particularly amusing to me. 2023 was another interesting year for such emails and I had trouble figuring out which ones were my favorites. Since I also run an eBay Store that sells pipes, I get rather unique questions regarding my pipe listings on that site, and a couple of those questions were also good enough to make my year 2023 list of humdingers. I also included a couple that I call my “golden Oldies,” as they are ageless. And if you sent an email to me that by chance made it into this blog, then all I have to say is congratulations!
Here are my favorite questions from 2023 as well as a couple of the golden oldies from years past:
Question: “Say man, I just took a look at your website and read through all of your menu items to try to determine which of the tins you sell are full and which ones are empty. I think that’s pretty important information that you should include in each listing!”
Answer: That’s an interesting question and one that I’ve never received before. However, as is actually stated in the Purchasing Information menu section of the site I do say the following: “You are purchasing second-hand factory sealed collectible bags & tins.” I don’t sell empty tins so I don’t think I need to state that the contents are full and factory sealed in each listing.
Question: “No offense, but I made my first purchase from your website last week of year 2011 Escudo. But there is no date on the tin and you didn’t include any proof of age with a certificate of authenticity or something similar. So how do I know it is really from 2011?”
Answer: Well, if you look at the bottom of the tin you will see a line of numbers from the factory which includes the year of production. The first two numbers of the code are 11, meaning 2011 was the year of production. If you want, you can call the manufacturer, Orlik Tobacco Company of Denmark, and I am sure they will tell you the same thing which will ease your mind.
Question: “This question may sound unusual, but I have a friend who swears that the McClelland’s tins were made with some ketchup in them to preserve the tobacco. I made my first McClelland’s tobacco purchase from you a couple of weeks ago and that was never mentioned in your listing?”
Answer: First, thank you for your purchase. And second, I’ve never heard of any blender – past or present – that used ketchup as a preservative. I think that many people, myself included, like to dip their French Fries in ketchup but not their tobacco!
Question: (this one came from my eBay messaging system) – “Pipestud, I purchased that Castello Sea Rock pipe from you last Saturday but now I can’t pay for it. On Sunday my wife sneaked away with a secret boyfriend I never knew about and she took our credit cards and cash when she left. She even took our dog! I am still in shock and broke too. Please sell the pipe to someone else.”
Answer: You have the best excuse for not paying for a purchase that I have ever received. I’ll cancel the transaction and while losing a wife like yours sounds like a blessing in the long run, I sure am sorry about the loss of your dog.
Question: “Pipestud sir, I started smoking a pipe just a few months ago. It is fun and I like to smoke while watching TV, but my girlfriend hates the smell of smoke no matter how aromatic the blend is and won’t let me smoke in the house. Have you heard of or ever sold any odorless pipe tobacco that you could recommend? I hope so because otherwise I won’t be a pipe smoker much longer!”
Answer: Sorry, I’ve never heard of an odorless pipe tobacco. I have had pipe smoking friends who were puffing on something that I wish was odorless! Anyhow, I sure am sorry to hear about your problem and I can only think of two choices that you have. You can either keep your girlfriend and smoke in the great outdoors, or, dump your girlfriend and get a new one that suffers from Anosmia (has no sense of smell.) Pick whichever one works best for you.
And now for a few golden oldies from years past that still amuse me:
Question: ‘I am 22-years old and just starting to smoke a pipe. I saw where you have reviewed thousands of tobaccos on the website tobaccoreviews.com, so, I figured you would be a good person to ask this question. My mom was not very happy when she found out that I was smoking a pipe and told me that doing so could actually cause Herpes. Have you ever heard that?’
Answer: – No. But it can give you tongue bite if you don’t practice safe puffing
Question: This might be a crazy question, but are there any tobacco blends that have beef or chicken in it?
Answer: You are right, that is a crazy question. In fact, one of the craziest questions that I’ve ever heard. And the answer to your question is no!
This last one that I’ll end with was not really a question but an occurrence – A few years ago a consignor sent me a very nice Pre-Trans Barling’s EXEXEL Billiard pipe to sell. It arrived in a plain brown box and when I opened the box, the pipe was carefully wrapped up in a male Depends diaper! I carefully pulled out the diaper wrapped pipe (I say carefully because I wasn’t sure whether it was a new or “estate” diaper – thank goodness it was new), and found a note in the bottom of the box. It said the following – “Steve, here is the pipe that I want you to sell for me. I would like for you to return the diaper in this same box and please don’t ask any questions.”
Pipestud – I did as I was asked and sent the diaper back in the same box and sure as heck didn’t ask any questions, mainly because I didn’t want to know the answer!
Happy puffing to all,